G.I Joe (2009)

Posted on 4. Oct 2009


Stephen Sommers

Writing credits:
Stuart Beattie(screenplay)
David Elliot(screenplay)
Paul Lovett(screenplay)

Michael Gordon(story)
Stuart Beattie(story)
Stephen Sommers(story)


Channing Tatum – Duke
Marlon Wayans – Ripcord
Arnold Vosloo – Zartan
Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje – Heavy Duty
Christopher Eccleston – James McCullen / Destro
Grégory Fitoussi – Baron de Cobray
Joseph Gordon-Levitt – The Doctor / Rex Lewis
Leo Howard – Young Snake Eyes
Karolina Kurkova – Courtney A. Kreiger / Cover Girl
Byung-hun Lee – Storm Shadow
Sienna Miller – Anastasia ‘Ana’ DeCobray / Baroness


Paramount Pictures and Hasbro, whose previous collaboration was the worldwide blockbuster “TRANSFORMERS,” join forces with Spyglass Entertainment for another extraordinary action-adventure “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.” From the Egyptian desert to deep below the polar ice caps, the elite G.I. JOE team uses the latest in next-generation spy and military equipment to fight the corrupt arms dealer Destro and the growing threat of the mysterious Cobra organization to prevent them from plunging the world into chaos. “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” is directed by Stephen Sommers (“The Mummy,” “The Mummy Returns”) [RottenTomatoes.com]

If you want a movie with good acting/actors, compelling story, intelligent storyline and so forth then G.I Joe is sertainly not the movie for you. This movie consists of emotionless actors who can’t put enough emotion into their dialoge to make ma believe them.

First I though of telling you that this a pure breed action movie that doesn’t need a sophisticated story but after seeing Rambo 4, I cannot. Rambo is a pure breed but this movie is just a bad movie full of too much CGI. And sometimes not even GOOD CGI. I even managed to find some really awful editing.

One positive thing is that you will see lots of beautiful women AND in leather. Obviously what man wouldn’t like to see a goo looking woman with her figure emphasized. And that is basicly all one would like in this movie. Everything else is just pure bollocks.

A standard star-packed hollywood product. For example – Brandon Wayans (Scary Movie 1-2; Don’t be a menace to south central..); Channing Tatum (Step up 1-2; Public Enemies); Sienna Miller (Stardust); Arnold Vosloo (The Mummy 1-2); Joseph Gordon-Levitt (3rd rock from the sun; (500) days of summer)..

Oh, sorry, I almost forgot the mandatory funny “black” guy who always cracks a joke when things seem to get TOO serious.

It just must be an insult to drive an OPEL in France.

All and all it was quite a bad movie occasionally reminding me of the first X-men movie. Even the ending seems familiar.


Rating: 2/10

Tagged: ,
Posted in: Review/opinion